We share our stories over dinner, Larra and I.
It’s the second time in a month.
The first time I was so moved by her words of wisdom, forged from years of living out the hard call of mothering children alone, that I asked to meet a second time.
I had more questions, more to learn from this woman who runs her own business and yet manages to give deeply, pouring herself out for each of her three children.
When I ask what got her through the hardest parts of walking her kids into adulthood she doesn’t hesitate.
“Girlfriends, hands down. And other moms. I needed people who knew what it was like in the trenches, who I could say anything to. Anything! And they would not judge me or be shocked.”
I confess to her that I’ve had a hard time finding friends like that, that maybe I’ve had a hard time being a friend like that. So often I am thinking about my own stuff: my own family, my own kids, my own marriage; that I don’t always listen well.
And I forget details. Things that are important, things that a friend would remember.
I tell her I’m working on that.
Larra acknowledges how hard it is to build good friendships.
“Finding friends who are kindred spirits, women you can trust with your heart; I think you get two, maybe three in a lifetime.”
She tells me she has found most moms are gracious about sharing their struggles. Sometimes it takes a willingness to be vulnerable first.
“Ask God for help. Ask Him for help in every part of your life. Pray for wisdom and good friends, really good friends – for you and your kids.” She adds, “It took me a long time to figure it out, but I think He wants to be involved in everything.”
In the morning, O LORD, You hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before You and wait in expectation.Psalm 5:3