He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him.Acts 17:26a-27b
I am discovering that I thrive on routine.
The morning alarm leads to the morning workout. Shower, dress for work, and drop youngest daughter at school. Sit in traffic. Drink my morning coffee. Work and then head home for a few quiet hours alone. Write before my husband and youngest return. Prepare dinner, eat, chat, clear dishes, and clean the kitchen. Then, in the evening, relax with hubby as youngest does homework.
Things are different now. COVID-19 has turned all our neatly ordered lives upside down.
And I’m learning that without those hard lines holding my routine steady and keeping me on track, I am a bit rudderless. It’s embarrassing to admit just how many days I’ve remained in my pj’s past noon—but it’s a lot.
Stripped of all that was once predictable, I am forced to wrestle with my human frailty, with my utter dependence on the Creator of the universe. It’s apparent that I have kept Jesus at arm’s length, have let routine provide the illusion of control, and have willingly believed the lie of self-sufficiency.
The realization is startling.
I have wanted to believe in the near certainty of my plans—plans to travel, to work, and to carry on with my life plans—but it is God who is in control.
I have known this intellectually. But now I am wrestling with the experiential knowledge that, though I make my plans, it is God who determines my steps.
And clearly, I need Him more than I ever realized.
James 4:13-15 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”
Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
Consider the ways in which you have bought into the lie of self-sufficiency. How have you used your God-given strengths to create a false sense of control? Where have you allowed a sense of self-reliance to overshadow your utter dependence on God? What plans have you made without thought to His will?
Father, You are in control of every aspect of my life. You decide where I will live, whether I will travel, work and make money. My very breath is a gift from Your hand. Forgive my denial of Your omniscience. Teach me to rest in Your power, to trust where You lead. In Jesus’ name, amen.
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